Short Story 9: Quiet Quitting

Who knew quitting would create more work…

Rob woke up that morning and decided to choose violence. He was going to quit his job.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened the day before his choice, or the day before that, or the day before that. Funnily enough this is why he wanted to quit. Every day was the exact same.

He got up, went to work, did meaningless work, answered meaningless emails, attended meaningless meetings. He had moved departments two years ago but it was all the same to him.

Same clown, same circus.

For some people, this would be an ideal situation but not for Rob. He found meaning in doing work that he thought was useful. He wasn’t sure where he was heading but he knew one thing. He couldn’t stay put here and rot.

He walked to work on the fateful day. It was lashing rain of course. It rained half the days of the year and today Rob lost the coin toss. Wind whipped his back urging him on as left the house. He put on a baby blue dress shirt, a zig zag patterned jumper along with some worn dark blue jeans and bright blue runners to walk faster. Office casual. The rain was falling side-ways so Rob’s trusty see-through umbrella did not come in handy. One step in front of the other, he marched to work like a trooper going off to war for the last time.

Rob liked to time his walks and he made it in just shy of 35 minutes. A new record. The rain got his backpack wet but he made sure to cover his laptop in there, the only important thing in there. He walked up the emergency stairs of the building he worked at, 4 storeys high, that used to leave him winded if he walked up too fast.

He’ll miss the building. The winding stairs. The green coloured soup stain that was on the 2^nd floor steps for God knows how many years. The way the light shone through the great glass windows during sunny days. He took college classes in this building and then worked here right afterwards. People still thought he was a student. He was still relatively young. He had youth on his side.

His steps grew heavier on the 3^rd floor, the stairway felt like it stretched forever.

Step. Did he leave the toaster on in the morning?

Step. Or did he leave the fridge door open?

Step. What about the immersion? Can’t keep that on.

Step. The door was double locked. He was sure of it.

Step. None of it really mattered. He’d be back by lunch.

And that would be the last time he went up those stairs.

A meeting with his boss was scheduled first thing in the morning. At exactly 8.30am, he sent an email to his boss saying he needed to have a meeting as soon as possible. His boss replied with a “yeah np” and a thumbs up emoji saying he can pop into the office as soon as he gets in. They were casual like that, a good working relationship. They have some back and forth small talk before the boss cut to the chase.

“What’s on your mind, Rob, you don’t schedule many meetings with me like this”

Rob’s boss, Julie, was an effective yet easy-going boss. Her office attire reflected this. She was wearing business casual top and bottom with some dark navy Chuck Taylor’s. A bit of an odd choice but kept the “I am a cool boss” vibe going and somehow made her more relatable.

“I am handing in my notice. I will be leaving in a month”

“Oh... you did mention you wanted to go travelling a while back so this isn’t a total surprise. What are your plans?”

Rob made up something. Anything. He didn’t want to seem like he was going mad. He pretended he had a plan.

“I’m going to travel... to uhh... South Africa! I have always wanted to see a safari. Maybe I will do a tour of Africa!”

“Wow that sounds exotic! You be careful though... I heard they have pirates over there!”

“Yeah yeah no worries I will!”

Rob had no plans to go there but a life out at sea sounded better than working here.

Rob told his favourite colleague Gunther he was quitting. Gunther was a jolly German. Rob had never seen him not happy and from the sounds of it that’s because he probably never was. They talked matter of factly and reminisced about all the times they worked together and all the things they complained about.

There was a new photo on Gunther’s desk which he proudly showed Rob telling him that it was his newborn grandson. Gunther was his favourite colleague because he was the only one that ever bothered to teach Rob new things. He saw him as more of a mentor than a colleague most of the time and he reminded him of his father. Gunther shared a single Ferraro Rocher with him in the box he kept on his desk as a parting gift before Rob went.

Rob told his second boss. The second boss wasn’t happy about it but he understood.

“Was it HR trying to screw with you? I’d like to give them a piece of my mind...”

“Nono it wasn’t that. I’ve just... been here a while. I’m going to South Africa! See some lions! Always loved Lion King”

Rob’s second boss told him he had to tell his old boss. Why? Because his old boss ran some servers that only he knew how to operate and he had to tell him to let him know that people might get on to him soon. He was on good terms with his old boss so he didn’t mind.

Rob had to tell HR. A short email would suffice. They just needed written confirmation.

Rob told all his other colleagues in an email where he CC’d everyone. He made up some sob story about enjoying working with people and how he’ll keep in touch (he won’t) and that he learned a lot from everyone (everyone meaning just Gunther). He got a lot of sad face and heart emojis reactions on his email while the older staff sent generic emails wishing him luck in his future endeavours.

Rob had 3 different meetings scheduled in the next 2 weeks. All of them related to him quitting and the next steps. He probably had more in line but these were just the initial ones. He needed to prepare handover documents for his replacement. He needed to organise his work space, clear his junk, cancel any future events in his work calendar, finish all his projects, tie up loose ends. He needed to do a lot. Who knew quitting would create more work… He was exhausted.

Sitting down at his desk, he looked around. Every day at 9am he sat here, sat a lot on this office chair, the imprint of his ass forever etched on this seat. Working his ass off, nine to five, maybe more, overtime, unpaid sick days, the frustration of his silly work and being stuck in a box all day.

It occurred to him that he could just leave, as in leave right now, through the door.

“What would they do? Fire me?”

Burning bridges as he went, he could do it. Just walk out into the sunset and never return. Move to Mexico, learn Spanish, work with his hands all day, marry a local girl, have children. Kids and a wife, a simple life. A world of possibilities and yet he is left paralysed just sitting there.

He took out some paper from the printer and started thinking hard. He wanted to write what he enjoyed doing. What he did in his spare time. What he actually cared about.

But the page remained blank. He just stared at it for a full hour.

“Think, think... what would I do with a million dollars?? Can’t sit at the beach drinking Mojitos until I die. Okay maybe make a list of things wrong with the world. God knows I have complaints. Emails should be banned. Meetings should be 15 minutes max and be done while on a walk. You’re not allow microwave fish in the office”

He snapped. He could only think of the office. The office was all that occupied his mind. The very office he was leaving. What would occupy his mind once he left? Video games? Gambling? Porn? Drugs? Self-improvement gurus?

Rob got up and walked out the door, mid work day. He didn’t care. A new life awaited him and he was done quiet quitting. He wanted to go out with a bang, a blaze of glory, bright burning bridges behind him, not looking back.

On his way back home, he saw something. Rob wasn’t a superstitious person but his eyes did not deceive him. He saw his future in all its glory. What he saw had nothing to do with an office and he was so joyous that a tear slid down his face and he leapt into the air and clapped both of his feet.

Two magpies perched on a white picket fence on his way home. They chirped and fluttered as birds do while Rob saluted them in a comical fashion. His work phone rang breaking him from his trance, beckoning him to come back, and without looking he grasped it tightly and chucked it as far as he could muster. He didn’t care. He had lost the plot. It was all meaninglessness. He would not waste one more day thinking of work and what they would do if they found out. He doesn’t work for them anymore. He would rather die than work for them. A free man. A free world. A free day.

Outside Rob’s place, there were kids shouting and playing football. Two small metal framed goals with white string nets faced each other on a big patch of green grass. It was 3 a side and looked to be competitive. Passing back and forth, coordinating by shouting each other’s names, they ran quickly back and forth over the neatly kept grass. A kid with a sideways baseball cap and colourful shoes kicked the ball hard and the ball crashed into the back of a net. Wild cheers and jubilance followed. It was a cool spring day with a chill in the air but the kids played their heart’s out in t-shirts and shorts with not a care in the world.